it's a Horrible life

So your loved one had a truama in their lives. Maybe you experienced that trauma as well, but not in the same way. You are you and so you cant be sure that you know what it was like for them. Now their killing themselves to escape the pain that has never been eased, possibly right in front of you. Do you feel their pain, or do you think they want to inflict pain against you? Maybe they lash out and in their most desperate moments they really do want you to suffer, but not because they are cruel or hateful really. Yes they want you to feel their pain, not because they enjoy causing it, but because bearing it alone is enough to drive them to self-destruction for escape. Misery does love company, in fact misery loves any distraction from itself. You resent this person who hasn't coped with their fear or mania or whatever negative emotion they have in the way that you would or did. You are not them. Dont treat them like they are; like they shouldn't be hurt. Let's say on life's battlefield you and this loved one stood on ridge under fire. You see a deadly projectile hurtling toward you both and dive for cover assuming that he/she sees and hears it to. She/He was born with different sight and cant hear in the same way either. Those born with sight and hearing should not expect those who were not, to react as if they were. Perhaps in the resulting explosion you were hurt as well, but atleast while you lie in your recovery bed you can recall precisely what happened; you know what caused your pain and know you will avoid all other projectiles, but your loved one does not have this clarity. Not knowing what struck, or why and from where, your loved one can only assume that pain strikes without any warning at all and for no conclusive reason. Now you may say war is hell for all, but you dont know fear untill you live in constant fear of nothing and everything. Now if you're in pain you dont have to worry about it sneaking up on you, so what's the best way to avoid the shock and terror. To be in pain all the time. Look at it.